1) Hi! I've been reading a lot of your essays lately and enjoying them. "Why They Call Us" contains an really acute outsider description of the ethic of responsibility I was raised with and the ways in which its focus on middle class "success" ends up unintentionally punishing the poor for trying to have a family, or as you say, "who are the poor allowed to love?" and though I am firmly pro-choice, I've been recommending it to a lot of people I know for that reason. I was interested to read about your new project. Providing role models and space to acknowledge one's identity without giving up the religion one is devoted to is important in all kinds of ways.
2) I was wondering if Faces of the Future planned to add a page on its policy on abuse prevention/safety policy to the website--not because we queer people are any more likely than anyone else to commit such crimes, but because you seem attentive to supporting those who have been hurt by the Church (in a different way), and as part of caring for victims and survivors going forward where in the past they were silenced. Having a public policy can be really important to dealing with any crisis that comes up in a way that upholds the survivors and makes them feel able to come forward rather than accidentally crushing them and. It's especially important for groups working with vulnerable people, as queer youth undoubtedly are both by age and with the current levels of homophobia and family rejection. By contrast, groups that don't acknowledge it could happen in their circles or be done by people they trust are badly placed to recognize and stop abuse. I don't think your outreach effort is going to have these problems more than any other mentorship program and this isn't about it being gay, but since you're working on how to improve Catholic outreach and support for a group that has had some really awful historical experiences, it could be a powerful statement to have a public policy on your website for the purpose of showing care for the vulnerable, supporting survivors, and empowering them to report any abuse, and helping make that open acknowledgement more common in Catholic groups and queer groups alike.
context: I'm not Catholic but my family who are or who left the Church grew up in a town where abuse in the church was an open secret. I respect the work you're doing within Catholicism and the above is said in the spirit of adding rather than detracting. This advice is derived from my past experience receiving the training for emergency room advocates for survivors of sexual assault and the policy is something I really think all orgs should have, but you happen to be starting up a new one now and seem like someone who'd be receptive to hearing and considering this.
Hello! Thanks so much for this comment (and for the kind words about my Commonweal essay). We strongly agree that what we do needs to be informed by the insights of survivors and advocates, and we're in conversation about how to bring those perspectives to bear as we train people in mentorship and accompaniment. I don't yet know exactly how that will end up shaping any public statements, but those conversations are a part of our process of developing programs and materials (and policies), for exactly the reasons you name. It's always better to acknowledge that harm is a possibility, and address that possibility before it becomes a reality.
I'm a 21 year old college student who is really passionate about this and really admires your work (and I've followed and admired it for a long time!) Is there a way I can get involved? I'm broke and super busy, but would love to somehow be active in this movement. Are you hiring? Do you have conferences? A Facebook group? What are some concrete steps to make an impact?
Oh man, this is great to see! Right now, given your situation, the most immediate step is just spreading the word to people who would be interested, especially people working in Catholic institutions who might be able to bring us in to work.
If you already know there are people at your college/campus ministry (or diocese, or other institution) who would be interested in working with us, you can email me at eve@buildingcatholic.org and I'll send you the "Bring BCF to You" form.
Otherwise, take a look at the contact form https://buildingcatholic.org/contact-us since we do have a few next steps in mind for people in different situations, but we need to know a little more about where you're coming from. Sorry for all the forms! We are trying to make sure that what we offer each person is something they can genuinely use, not something that sounds great but isn't realistic or relevant to them.
And THANKS--I very much hope we can work together soon!
Thank you so much for this! I'm at Hope College right now, and I saw that you visited a while back. Do you know Prof. Jared Ortiz? He is the head of the St. Benedict Institute, which is our campus Catholic organization. Fr. Nick Monco, OP is our chaplain, but he said he started the year after you gave a talk. I'm sad I missed you by a few years. I began reading your work a while back, and I would have loved to meet you. You helped me a lot as I navigated (and continue to navigate) the tension between being bi and Catholic. Your books brought me a lot of peace and hope.
I would also like to talk to you sometime about your partner (if you are ever comfortable...no pressure if you aren't). I am open to such a relationship myself, but have questions and doubts that make me ambivalent about whether it would be a good idea for me. Unfortunately, there is not a lot of resources on that topic, since it's a pretty new concept. It would be nice to see how you understand your own partnership, as someone who actually lives it. I am sure the reality is not the same as what exists in my mind!
Oh, this is a lovely reminder to me to get in touch with Prof Ortiz! I remember him very fondly. Thank you so much--and thanks very much for the kind words.
Re my partner, I agree that there are way too few resources out there. I learned a lot from the archives at A Queer Calling, and the history The Friend by Alan Bray (and to a lesser extent Claudia Rapp's Brother-Making in Late Antiquity and Byzantium). And season 1 of the Life on Side B podcast includes a couple episodes on celibate partnerships, though tbh I haven't listened to those. ...If you have questions etc, you can always email me eve_tushnet@yahoo.com , although nowadays I admit it may take me a while to answer.
Oh and we will not be at SEEK this year, but watch the skies!
Also, another question just occurred to me (sorry for double-replying a week later). Is BCF going to be at SEEK this year in Salt Lake City? If so, I would love to see and network with you guys.
1) Hi! I've been reading a lot of your essays lately and enjoying them. "Why They Call Us" contains an really acute outsider description of the ethic of responsibility I was raised with and the ways in which its focus on middle class "success" ends up unintentionally punishing the poor for trying to have a family, or as you say, "who are the poor allowed to love?" and though I am firmly pro-choice, I've been recommending it to a lot of people I know for that reason. I was interested to read about your new project. Providing role models and space to acknowledge one's identity without giving up the religion one is devoted to is important in all kinds of ways.
2) I was wondering if Faces of the Future planned to add a page on its policy on abuse prevention/safety policy to the website--not because we queer people are any more likely than anyone else to commit such crimes, but because you seem attentive to supporting those who have been hurt by the Church (in a different way), and as part of caring for victims and survivors going forward where in the past they were silenced. Having a public policy can be really important to dealing with any crisis that comes up in a way that upholds the survivors and makes them feel able to come forward rather than accidentally crushing them and. It's especially important for groups working with vulnerable people, as queer youth undoubtedly are both by age and with the current levels of homophobia and family rejection. By contrast, groups that don't acknowledge it could happen in their circles or be done by people they trust are badly placed to recognize and stop abuse. I don't think your outreach effort is going to have these problems more than any other mentorship program and this isn't about it being gay, but since you're working on how to improve Catholic outreach and support for a group that has had some really awful historical experiences, it could be a powerful statement to have a public policy on your website for the purpose of showing care for the vulnerable, supporting survivors, and empowering them to report any abuse, and helping make that open acknowledgement more common in Catholic groups and queer groups alike.
context: I'm not Catholic but my family who are or who left the Church grew up in a town where abuse in the church was an open secret. I respect the work you're doing within Catholicism and the above is said in the spirit of adding rather than detracting. This advice is derived from my past experience receiving the training for emergency room advocates for survivors of sexual assault and the policy is something I really think all orgs should have, but you happen to be starting up a new one now and seem like someone who'd be receptive to hearing and considering this.
Hello! Thanks so much for this comment (and for the kind words about my Commonweal essay). We strongly agree that what we do needs to be informed by the insights of survivors and advocates, and we're in conversation about how to bring those perspectives to bear as we train people in mentorship and accompaniment. I don't yet know exactly how that will end up shaping any public statements, but those conversations are a part of our process of developing programs and materials (and policies), for exactly the reasons you name. It's always better to acknowledge that harm is a possibility, and address that possibility before it becomes a reality.
Glad to hear that!
I'm a 21 year old college student who is really passionate about this and really admires your work (and I've followed and admired it for a long time!) Is there a way I can get involved? I'm broke and super busy, but would love to somehow be active in this movement. Are you hiring? Do you have conferences? A Facebook group? What are some concrete steps to make an impact?
Oh man, this is great to see! Right now, given your situation, the most immediate step is just spreading the word to people who would be interested, especially people working in Catholic institutions who might be able to bring us in to work.
If you already know there are people at your college/campus ministry (or diocese, or other institution) who would be interested in working with us, you can email me at eve@buildingcatholic.org and I'll send you the "Bring BCF to You" form.
Otherwise, take a look at the contact form https://buildingcatholic.org/contact-us since we do have a few next steps in mind for people in different situations, but we need to know a little more about where you're coming from. Sorry for all the forms! We are trying to make sure that what we offer each person is something they can genuinely use, not something that sounds great but isn't realistic or relevant to them.
And THANKS--I very much hope we can work together soon!
Thank you so much for this! I'm at Hope College right now, and I saw that you visited a while back. Do you know Prof. Jared Ortiz? He is the head of the St. Benedict Institute, which is our campus Catholic organization. Fr. Nick Monco, OP is our chaplain, but he said he started the year after you gave a talk. I'm sad I missed you by a few years. I began reading your work a while back, and I would have loved to meet you. You helped me a lot as I navigated (and continue to navigate) the tension between being bi and Catholic. Your books brought me a lot of peace and hope.
I would also like to talk to you sometime about your partner (if you are ever comfortable...no pressure if you aren't). I am open to such a relationship myself, but have questions and doubts that make me ambivalent about whether it would be a good idea for me. Unfortunately, there is not a lot of resources on that topic, since it's a pretty new concept. It would be nice to see how you understand your own partnership, as someone who actually lives it. I am sure the reality is not the same as what exists in my mind!
Oh, this is a lovely reminder to me to get in touch with Prof Ortiz! I remember him very fondly. Thank you so much--and thanks very much for the kind words.
Re my partner, I agree that there are way too few resources out there. I learned a lot from the archives at A Queer Calling, and the history The Friend by Alan Bray (and to a lesser extent Claudia Rapp's Brother-Making in Late Antiquity and Byzantium). And season 1 of the Life on Side B podcast includes a couple episodes on celibate partnerships, though tbh I haven't listened to those. ...If you have questions etc, you can always email me eve_tushnet@yahoo.com , although nowadays I admit it may take me a while to answer.
Oh and we will not be at SEEK this year, but watch the skies!
Also, another question just occurred to me (sorry for double-replying a week later). Is BCF going to be at SEEK this year in Salt Lake City? If so, I would love to see and network with you guys.